This is hard for me. We’ve been through so much together. But…<sigh>…I think it’s time we see other people.
It’s not you, it’s me. Me and my absurd need for reliable and speedy Internet service. Your service here in Flagstaff is cute, really it is. It’s adorable. Its inconsistent flakiness, high latency and pedestrian transfer speed has a certain rustic charm to it. But I’m a more fast-paced kinda guy. I’m just not the customer for you. You need somebody else. Somebody who…well, maybe somebody who doesn’t have a computer.
I have a bunch of computers though so I think it’s really time to move on. I’m sorry to have to break it to you this way after everything we’ve been through. I’ll miss our weekly technical service dates. I’ll miss Madeline and Lara. I’ll miss Corey and Steph. I’ll miss the automated attendant who never understands what I say but always wants just one more piece of information before he can route my call. I love how he makes me enter my callback number, then apparently doesn’t give it to your representative so they can ask me for it again. Such a kidder! Good times.
I’ll miss Roger. Oh, Roger. Who insisted it was my inside wiring and wanted to charge me $85 for the service call. I didn’t have the heart (or the patience, if we’re honest) to call him back when two separate Qwest field engineers confirmed that the problem was actually in one of your switches a couple of blocks away from my home. He was wrong, but he was so adorable. Just wanted to pinch his cheeks.
Anywho. I wish you the best. I hope we can still be friends. Buck up little camper, you’re gonna be fine. They tell me you have really fast Internet and reliable service in other parts of the country. If it ever comes to Flag, give me a call, maybe we can have coffee or something.
Now if you’ll excuse me I really do need to go. The NPG Cable guy needs me to sign his clipboard to confirm that my new cable modem is installed and working. (it is)
