So the other night I’m chatting with a female friend whose name is Carol (yes, it actually is) (No, it really isn’t). She’s an attractive young woman with startling blue eyes who has been with her boyfriend Mike (probably not his real name) for a couple of years. She says to me:
To feel loved I need attention and affection. I really need him to pay attention to me, take me out sometimes, you know, I want to feel adored. Mike has none of these qualities.
You already know what I said, don’t you?
Yep – I said to her:
Sweetie, you just listed for me the things that are important for you to feel loved and then said that your boyfriend has none of those qualities.
There was a long pause, then she sighed sadly. Mike may be a great guy. But he isn’t great for her. A couple of weeks ago she mentioned that she was bored and wanted to go out more but that Mike never takes her out anymore.
"Have you talked with him about it?" I asked. "He’ll just get mad" she replied. He’ll get mad? If she talks with him about their relationship and what she wants or needs? This brings me to today’s message…
Ladies…if you can’t talk to your man, in a rational way, about what you want or need in the relationship then your relationship is doomed. I don’t mean nagging him every day. I mean if you can’t climb into his lap on the couch, put your arms around him, kiss him sweetly and start a quiet conversation about what you’d like…then you’ve got a problem. If he loves and respects you then he will listen to what you have to say and try to do his best to find a way to make you happy.