Dave Scott is my shepherd, I shall not bonk.
He makes me run through green pastures, he checketh my splits. He leads me to the first turn buoy, he restores my hydration.
He guides me through the transition area, to where I have left my bike. He leadeth me not to draft for that would be unrighteous (and a red card penalty).
And even though I run through the valley of the Energy Lab, I will fear no Macca; For he is already done with the interviews and back in his hotel room. Defizzed Coke and PowerGel, they comfort me.
You prepare an aid station before me, and fill it with volunteers.
You anoint my head with icy sponges; my paper cup overflows.
Surely K-Swiss and Zoot will follow me, all the races of my life, and I will dwell in the house of Mike Reilly forever.
Amen. ON YOUR LEFT!